1
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,635
Brenda, sweetheart,
would you like to say grace?
2
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,429
Wow, lucky girl.
3
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:15,265
Papa didn't let me say grace
until I was 35.
4
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,891
Bless us, O Lord and these... (SCREAMS)
5
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:20,687
- Go green, go green.
- Hippos, hippos, hippos!
6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,398
Jesus Christ!
What the hell is going on here?
7
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:27,027
We used the Come Alive ray to sci-fi
some Hungry Hungry Hippos
8
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,822
into IRL-like hungry hippos
and things got a little titsy.
9
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,657
Oh! Mine just ate an ugly vase.
10
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:33,950
That's ten points for pink.
11
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,662
- Those were my father's ashes.
- That means double points, boy.
12
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,540
Best game night ever!
13
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,376
It's way better than when we all got
diabetes from real life Candy Land.
14
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,712
- (PHONE RINGS)
- What do you want? I'm gaming.
15
00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,464
Hey, do we know a Pupa?
16
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,548
- Terry!
- Come on, man.
17
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,885
Oh. All right. Thanks for calling.
18
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:52,969
Jesus Christ.
19
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,471
All right, let's go, pink hippo.
20
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,805
- What was that?
- Nothing.
21
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,767
- The Pupa got arrested at the mall.
- What? We have to go save him!
22
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,518
Okay, I see how it is.
23
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,605
We only worry about the Pupa
when Terry's winning game night.
24
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,856
This is bullshit.
25
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:09,944
KORVO: Planet Shlorp was
a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit.
26
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,989
One hundred adults and replicants
27
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,408
were issued a Pupa
and escaped into the space,
28
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,994
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
29
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,706
We crashed on Earth, stranding us
on an already overpopulated planet.
30
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,583
That's right.
I've been talking this whole time.
31
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,376
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
My name's Korvo.
32
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,045
This is my show.
I just dropped the Pupa.
33
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:28,922
Do you see me? This is ridiculous.
34
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,175
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
People are stupid and confusing.
35
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,718
Why are there so many wildfires?
36
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:36,429
Where's your planet sized hose
so that we can just put everything out?
37
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,223
You should think
about building one of those.
38
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,983
GUARD: So, yeah, the blue space
creature, AKA The Pupa
39
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,569
walked into the Claire's jewelry store
at 2:00 p.m.
40
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,280
and exited minutes later
with the stolen merchandise.
41
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,533
Earrings? What the hell?
He doesn't even have ears.
42
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,909
(GASPS) Or does he?
43
00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,410
A Pupa would never steal anything.
44
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,996
Has his own Bubba Gump Shrimp
Platinum rewards MasterCard.
45
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,540
It must have been another Pupa.
46
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,500
I saw it all.
He stole sweet pearl earrings,
47
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,544
a body piercing gun
and three unicorn chokers.
48
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,671
Why are Principal Cooke
and Ms. Frankie here?
49
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:12,090
Your second job is driving
a forklift for the mob.
50
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,968
I've got a ton of jobs, kid.
Teacher, storm chaser, this,
51
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,303
plus I sniff luggage at the airport
for the DEA.
52
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,180
This little sack of fucks
has been running
53
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,182
a black market piercing ring at school.
54
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,560
Most of his customers
have gotten infections.
55
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,145
- Titties!
- I'm gonna hurl.
56
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,273
I was a child psychiatrist
before my crippling addiction
57
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,943
to celebrity feet forced me
into a career in civilian security.
58
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:35,905
Which is why I can tell you that this is
an out of control teenager situation.
59
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,574
This doesn't make any sense.
60
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,617
He's normally such a sweet
little supercomputer.
61
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,161
I mean, yes, he did kill a Robocop.
62
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,788
Yes, he'll one day terraform
a new planet destroying us all.
63
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,040
But, come on,
look at the cute little guy.
64
00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,250
(ALL GASP)
65
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:51,087
What the hell is wrong with you?
How could you do this to us?
66
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,965
We take our eyes off you
for two weeks to sci-fi some hippos
67
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,508
and this is how you repay us?
68
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,969
I am livid.
Wait. Is that a real word?
69
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,263
Well, then, I'm fucking livid.
70
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,390
Now, guys, let's take it easy here.
71
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:05,101
Maybe we just don't know Pupes
as well as we thought.
72
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,103
And I say it's livid time to find out.
73
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,606
Now he's gonna use livid
wrong for everything.
74
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:14,152
Rap music posters, a Game Gear,
The Twilight series?
75
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,904
These books are way too sexy for you.
76
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:16,988
Bag of weed.
77
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,240
A Harry Potter whistle
you turned into a bong.
78
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,576
SteelBook HD DVD of the Joker.
79
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:24,829
A mech suit that looks to be
some sort of conman businessperson.
80
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,208
- What could this be for?
- Why are you asking me? I don't know.
81
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,460
What the hell?
Are you stealing all this stuff, Pupa?
82
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:34,005
This isn't the Pupa we know and love.
Who even are you?
83
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,715
I wish I'd never been pupaed.
84
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:36,966
(ALL GASP)
85
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,343
The mall cop was right.
86
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,137
The Pupa is an out of control
motherfucking teenager.
87
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,766
What are we going to do
with the Pupa?
88
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,351
No idea is a bad idea. Go.
89
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,936
He's a sensitive little dumpling.
90
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,188
- We should be nurturing him.
- KORVO: Bad idea. Next.
91
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,606
Smash his head with a hammer
92
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,566
- and throw him in a quarry.
- As a backup. Next.
93
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,692
We shouldn't punish him.
94
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,070
We should learn from him
so we can steal stuff too.
95
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,322
I'm gonna start reading
sexy books and shit.
96
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,365
All these ideas suck.
97
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:02,700
He wants to be a teenager
then let's treat him so.
98
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,119
Pupa, as team leader,
I have come to a decision.
99
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:08,039
You shall be grounded
for one Earth month.
100
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,208
- Grounded?
- Yes, grounded.
101
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,046
- (PUPA CRYING)
- Oh, no. It's going to be okay.
102
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,048
Korvo, you made him cry. Psychopath.
103
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:20,176
I didn't know... It's the right thing
to do. He has to learn.
104
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,637
JESSE: I told you he needed
to be nurtured.
105
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,597
(SCREAMS)
106
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:27,934
YUMYULACK: Did the power go out?
107
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,688
TERRY: I didn't save a backup for my
seven-part Animal Crossing fart fic.
108
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,442
I'm no Pupa expert, but even I know
he isn't supposed to be two colors.
109
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,819
You are the Pupa expert.
110
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,612
Thank you. I won't let you down.
111
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:42,949
Aisha, we have a problem.
112
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:47,203
AISHA: Dang, Korvo, you melted again.
Your skin looks nasty.
113
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,329
What? I've been using
114
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,833
Ole Henrikson's Collagen Boosted True-C
Complex facial serum twice a day.
115
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,335
No, it's the Pupa.
He's all fucked up.
116
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,214
The Pupa is stuck between
powder blue and seafoam green.
117
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,716
No shit! But what does that mean?
118
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,051
You guys can't go one day
without being all,
119
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,762
"Aisha, this" and "Aisha, that.
Now you should help
120
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,390
"my wooden penis
that's stuck in the hyper drive."
121
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,268
It's not my fault
the thing has an oak shaped hole.
122
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:14,063
When the Pupa's pigment blinks yellow,
it means he's lost Wi-Fi signal.
123
00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:18,735
When it's stalled between two colors,
it means his evolution has been tainted.
124
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:22,280
Of course, that makes sense
because the taint is between two things.
125
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,491
Like Shakespeare wrote,
"Taint thy balls. Taint thy butthole."
126
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,160
Okay, fess up. Who tainted the Pupa?
127
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,829
Don't look at me. I let him suck
on old batteries all the time.
128
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,165
- He should be healthy.
- It's probably society's fault.
129
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,168
Yes, I bet it's because of all
the human shit he's been doing.
130
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,045
He eats an insane number
of garlic knots,
131
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,922
and his only source of news
is cameos from Finn Wolfhard.
132
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,633
- And he watched the HD DVD 1
- KD master of Joker
133
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,469
and absorbed Todd Phillips' values.
134
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,930
Don't listen to them, Pupes.
You just need some TLC, don't ya?
135
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,432
Pupa is being a shit pebble.
136
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,476
He needs to be taught that
interrupting a life-sized
137
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,353
Hungry Hungry Hippo game
has consequences.
138
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,979
Grounding clearly wasn't enough.
139
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,358
So as punishment for stealing
all that stuff, you will paint the ship.
140
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,110
And smoke a pack of Marlboro Lights
with a pillowcase over your head.
141
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,572
- But the Pupa doesn't smoke.
- And now he never will again.
142
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,533
I don't like being the bad guy,
143
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,827
but you better paint that ship
before we return.
144
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,163
And I want all these cigarettes
smoked to the filter.
145
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:15,041
Guys, the orange hippo got into a Panera
and the cops shot him.
146
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,668
If we hurry, we can still save
green, pink and yellow.
147
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,421
Pupa, stay here and learn your lesson.
I'll hug you later.
148
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,132
Last one there is a rotten spore!
149
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,052
(BURPS)
150
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,098
(HIPPOS SNORTING)
151
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,520
Yes! That counts.
Point for the Yumyu-lone Ranger.
152
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,314
Guys, is it me
or does the house look different?
153
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,359
Holy fuck, the ship is gone!
154
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,198
Is it crazy that I like it
without the ship?
155
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,283
Yes, it's crazy.
Where the fuck is the Pupa?
156
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,284
Pupa?
157
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:55,665
No way. Pupa got a Titan XL gaming chair
with Napa leather upholstery?
158
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:58,292
Where the hell is the ship?
And how did you get a PS7?
159
00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,544
Those aren't even out yet.
160
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,505
(GASPS) You traded the ship to a witch
for a gaming setup, didn't you?
161
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:05,466
So what?
I didn't ask to get assigned to you.
162
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:10,263
Is anyone else weirded out that he's
suddenly talking in complete sentences?
163
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,349
I don't know what's up with you,
but we'll talk when I get back.
164
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,685
Terry and I have to go fight
a witch for our spaceship.
165
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,229
You two, make sure
he stays out of trouble.
166
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,814
You ready to face this witch?
167
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,066
I guess. We talk about her all the time,
168
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,110
but I never thought
we'd actually confront her.
169
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,445
Fuck, man. A witch?
170
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,904
- I'm scared.
- We need to marshal
171
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,074
all our firepower for an epic showdown
three seasons in the making.
172
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,410
Hopefully, the Disney Dark Lords
don't make us trim it
173
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,120
because this shit
is going to be wild.
174
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,539
- I'll tell you that much.
- Let's do this shit!
175
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:37,915
(BOTH LAUGH)
176
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,794
Man, who knew Brigga Balba
would be so nice and her home, lovely.
177
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,172
That little fountain
in her tea garden was so peaceful.
178
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,841
I was thinking the same thing.
We really had her pegged wrong.
179
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,135
All we had to do was lease
this rad pumpkin car
180
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,846
and buy Stella & Dot crap from her
to get the ship back.
181
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:52,847
It is not crap.
182
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,933
Look at my "I'm a girl boss"
chunky cufflink. That's on trend, baby.
183
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,393
- (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
- Terry, do you hear that?
184
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,396
(PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
185
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,148
Whoo! All right! (GRUNTS)
186
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,442
An '80s movie-style rager?
187
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,568
Not in my house.
188
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,571
Hey, that's the turntable
I got for Passover
189
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,239
to mix ship noises with space sounds.
190
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,325
Where the hell are Jesse and Yumyulack?
191
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,202
Cannonball!
192
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,870
(CHEERING)
193
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,330
My turn!
194
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,539
Oh! Uh...
195
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:22,293
To tell you that this is irresponsible.
196
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,045
You were supposed
to be watching the Pupa.
197
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,964
Yeah, and we watched him
throw an awesome party.
198
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,049
Okay, everyone out!
199
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,467
(PARTYGOERS BOOING)
200
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,010
TEENAGER: This is stupid. Whatever.
201
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,553
TERRY: That's the last straw, Pupa.
202
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:35,056
How could you throw
a crazy '80s party without me?
203
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,642
You are super-duper-juluper grounded.
204
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,393
- Yeah. Tell 'em, Terry.
- (SCOFFS)
205
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:43,439
I hate this. I'm the cool one who
bites off cheese instead of cutting it.
206
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,651
But you leave me no choice.
No more iPad. No more sexy books.
207
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,402
No more Hulu!
208
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,362
(GASPS)
209
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,864
- (GRUMBLES)
- Look at him.
210
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,783
He's learning his lesson
so hard right now.
211
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,243
Maybe I am the Pupa expert.
212
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,204
(GRUNTS)
213
00:08:58,996 --> 00:08:59,872
(EXHALES)
214
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:00,831
What the hell?
215
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,625
I did not know that was an option.
216
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:05,169
Aw, he laid an apology egg.
217
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,339
Apology egg-cepted, Pupa.
218
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,801
Yeah, buddy.
219
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,345
- What the hell is that?
- Little Buddy.
220
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,846
Yeah, buddy.
221
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,391
(BOTH LAUGH)
222
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,142
Yeah, buddy.
223
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,270
How the hell am I supposed to punish him
224
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,855
when he's palling around
with a Little Buddy? Aw!
225
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,691
Shit! If we'd just smashed
Pupa's head,
226
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,818
thrown him in the quarry,
this wouldn't have happened.
227
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,529
We've done everything we can.
The Pupa isn't afraid of us.
228
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,322
We need someone
to whip Pupa into shape.
229
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,700
Someone with a heart of gold,
abs of steel,
230
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,076
and the calves of a hip-hop legend.
231
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,287
- We need...
- BOTH: Mark Wahlberg.
232
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:40,871
(ARMY BUGLE PLAYING)
233
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,337
Mark Wahlberg has
a restraining order against us,
234
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,715
but military schools
should work just as well.
235
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:51,841
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
236
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,801
All right, maggots. I own you.
237
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,429
You're nothing but maggot shit
on the bottom of my shoe.
238
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,015
I will wipe your maggot asses
off the face of this earth.
239
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,892
- Do you understand me, maggots?
- ALL: Yes, sir.
240
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,270
At some point,
yelling maggots has diminishing returns.
241
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,981
I like it. I'm going to start
doing it at home, maggot.
242
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,317
Well, fuck me sideways.
243
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,153
In all my years of screaming at maggots,
244
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:16,574
I've never gotten to actually train
an honest-to-goddamn maggot.
245
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:17,908
What's your name, maggot?
246
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:18,909
I'm the Pupa.
247
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,745
Wrong. Your name is maggot.
248
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:25,082
- And what the hell are you?
- Little Buddy!
249
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,418
What in the almighty fuck
is a Little Buddy?
250
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,003
He yells an awful lot.
251
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:32,340
Aren't you worried this is going to be
too hard on the little guy?
252
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,258
We need someone hard
to set him straight.
253
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:37,678
Hey, you think these guys would want
to buy some Stella & Dot dog tags?
254
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,889
We have some delish
bespoke white gold necklaces.
255
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:44,226
- I'm telling you, I'm telling you.
- Shut up and get in the gourd, maggot!
256
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,978
Yeah, that works for your boy. Mmm!
257
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,273
Jesse, trust me.
This is the best thing for the Pupa.
258
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,735
He's gonna thank us later.
We'll have a laugh about it like...
259
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,529
I bet he's already learnt...
260
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,114
(ALL SCREAM)
261
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,492
- What the hell was that?
- Pupa and Little Buddy!
262
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,952
JESSE: How did they get out
of military school so fast?
263
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,121
KORVO: They made friends
with that drill sergeant.
264
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,165
He was too charismatic.
People love his charm.
265
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,667
We should never have stopped for Terry
266
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,585
to hawk Stella & Dot
to that brunch club.
267
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,047
You can't talk to me like that. I'm 10k
away from being an associate ambassador.
268
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,568
(INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
269
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,530
(GUN FIRES)
270
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,701
Who's the Pupa expert now, bitch?
271
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:47,164
Look, Pupa. It's not that we're mad.
We're just so disappointed in you.
272
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,583
- You're better than this.
- We've tried everything.
273
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,794
Tough love, soft love,
crazy, stupid love.
274
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,630
We even had Courtney Love
watch Love Actually with you
275
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,465
- and nothing.
- You were acting bad before
276
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,134
but now with Little Buddy, it's worse.
277
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,219
Yeah, Little Buddy's a bad influence.
278
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,805
Little Buddy's the problem
because it's definitely not us.
279
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,140
Little buddy is my friend.
280
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,642
No, I forbid you from seeing
Little Buddy ever again.
281
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,269
- Get him.
- Give me that Little Buddy.
282
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,438
- Give him to me.
- To make sure he never returns,
283
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,440
I'm trapping him inside
a crystal paperweight.
284
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,983
Yeah, bu...
285
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:15,901
No!
286
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:19,155
Now he can't give you bad ideas,
and keep our bills from flying away.
287
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,323
You know, Stella & Dot
has a dandelion paperweight...
288
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,492
Jesus fuck, Terry.
It's a pyramid scheme.
289
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,538
- All right, this is just a tantrum.
- (PUPA SCREAMING)
290
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:30,416
Let him tire himself out.
Pretty soon he'll be back to normal.
291
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,131
The Pupa exploded into a mist.
292
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,841
- It's not a mist.
- It's a fog.
293
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,301
No, it's more like a steam.
294
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:44,096
Whatever it is, we're trapped inside
and it smells like the Pupa's ass.
295
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,184
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
296
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,731
Great, what a classic teenager
way to act out.
297
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,275
Turning himself into a blanket of steam
over the town.
298
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:59,111
Pupa, you recombine into
your own physical form this instant.
299
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,321
You hear me, mister?
300
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,989
No, don't go that way.
301
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,449
There are monsters.
302
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,409
Great. Now he's making
monsters in the steam?
303
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,161
We should've gotten him into soccer.
304
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,580
I just saw a tentacle over there.
305
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,792
The Pupa is such a bad teenager,
God, I wish I could be like him.
306
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,834
No, he sucks.
307
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,586
Pupa, you're in a lot of trouble.
308
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:18,798
You better stop being steam this instant
or no more playing Roblox.
309
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,925
(ALL SCREAM)
310
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:24,220
Is that steam monster
wearing a PewDiePie hoodie?
311
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:28,057
The Pupa's delinquency must be
manifesting as adolescent creatures.
312
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,851
Look out! There's one wearing
Tech fleece and listening to Future.
313
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,478
(MAN SCREAMS)
314
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,857
(ALL PANTING)
315
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,237
Hey, guys. Jeez, Ms. Frankie,
you work here, too?
316
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,948
(MIMICKING) "Oh, gee,
you work here too?"
317
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,366
Of course I don't, you idiot.
318
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,661
Not that it's any of your business,
but we're making Ossobuco for dinner.
319
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,205
It pairs well with a night
of consensual edging.
320
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,707
(SCREECHES)
321
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,921
(PHONE VIBRATES)
322
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,884
Okay, definitely seems like
they are teens.
323
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:07,304
Somebody needs to go and find out
what we're really dealing with here.
324
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,765
No, we don't.
These monsters are all over TikTok.
325
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,935
That Pacific garbage patch is huge.
326
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,938
These monsters are expressing
all the Pupa's bad teen behavior.
327
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,940
We better pray he's not an arson kid.
328
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,067
I think Pupa just needs a friend.
329
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:22,236
Maybe if we can get home
and release Little Buddy,
330
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,612
he'll stop misting himself.
331
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,573
Good point.
But if we let Little Buddy go,
332
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,074
all our bills might fly away.
333
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,617
What do we do? What do we do?
334
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,828
- (SCREECHES)
- (ALL SCREAM)
335
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:32,663
Come on. We can get to my car.
336
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:33,831
Who the fuck is this guy?
337
00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:34,832
I'm Desmond.
338
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,878
- Quick, give me the breathalyzer.
- Here.
339
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,672
And also, wow, I'd like to hear
the story behind that.
340
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,091
Come on, .9 is my baseline.
341
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:46,135
- Who else can drive?
- Let me try.
342
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,346
2.8. Yes! Alcoholic high score.
343
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,140
- (EXHALES)
- (DEVICE BEEPS)
344
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,308
I got this.
345
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:56,437
Wait! Sign my change.org petition
to help destigmatize cyber bullying.
346
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,605
Whatever, man.
347
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,732
- You just don't get it.
- Oh, God.
348
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,234
I'm not sus, you're sus.
349
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:04,904
Good laddie.
350
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,448
Oh, my God! Crap, I'm spinning off!
351
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:11,911
(GROWLS)
352
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,080
- (GROANS)
- Oh, God.
353
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,625
Why did I get emotionally invested
in Desmond?
354
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:21,670
Tell my wife I refinanced our boat loan.
355
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,009
Okay, listen, if these
monsters are really teens,
356
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:29,053
maybe we can just say
things they don't like.
357
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,013
- Did you clean your room?
- (GROANS)
358
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,140
It's working.
What did you do at school today?
359
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,559
- Tell me about your classes.
- (SNARLS)
360
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,604
I want to meet your friends.
361
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:41,065
Who's gonna accept
my Facebook friend request?
362
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,733
(MONSTERS GROAN)
363
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,112
Release Little Buddy.
That'll calm the Pupa down.
364
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,531
This ray has no reverse mode?
365
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,699
Well, shit. I'm so sorry.
366
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,452
I didn't foresee that
we'd have to turn a paperweight back
367
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,204
- into a Little Buddy.
- No, no, no.
368
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:58,290
We have to get Little Buddy out of there
or we're screwed.
369
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,292
We can undo this, but it won't be easy.
370
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,460
Terry, go to the ship
371
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,171
and activate the diffractalyser,
which'll take at least 12 hours.
372
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:06,006
After that comes the really hard part.
373
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,425
Yeah, buddy!
374
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,302
(LAUGHS)
375
00:16:10,594 --> 00:16:12,137
My bills! Damn it!
376
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,848
I can't remember how much
I owe in dues to the WGA North
377
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,642
- for that whole Ted 3
- D fiasco.
378
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,604
Little Buddy, come back here!
You're supposed to help us.
379
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,481
The mist fog steam is still everywhere.
380
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,111
You a-holes better figure
something out real quick.
381
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,195
This isn't our fault.
382
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,905
Yeah, we did everything for the Pupa.
383
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,658
He just watched
too many violent video games
384
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,034
and read too many sexy books.
385
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,662
This is Hollywood's fault.
The Joker, the Joker.
386
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,164
Let's go get Todd Phillips
and sacrifice him to the steam.
387
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,792
Bet he lives in a Tony Stark style house
overlooking the bay.
388
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,378
- Will you aliens shut the fuck up?
- (SNARLS)
389
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,838
Venmo me.
390
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,342
I am so sick of listening to you
blame everyone else.
391
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,635
This is on you.
392
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,012
(ALL GASP)
393
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,222
I ship a thick snack.
394
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,724
- (SNARLS)
- (ALL SCREAM)
395
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,309
The Pupa wouldn't be acting like this
396
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,103
if he had some structure in his life.
397
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,355
He needs present, tangible role models.
398
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,481
We see this all the time.
399
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:07,735
- The problem starts at home.
- Home? But that's where we are.
400
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:12,239
Oh, my God, you are truly
the shittiest parents I have ever met.
401
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,283
Korvo has spent more time eating me out
402
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,909
than being involved
in the Pupa's education.
403
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:16,910
Exactly.
404
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,245
- Wait. What?
- Guess what?
405
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,539
You're fucking wrong.
Because we're not human parents.
406
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,041
The Pupa is a member of our team.
407
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,667
Do you feed him? Do you bathe him?
408
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,877
Do you lay in bed and worry
409
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,337
he's going to get run over by car
or kidnapped by a pervert?
410
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:31,216
No, I worry he's going to get kidnapped
by a car and run over by a pervert.
411
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,218
Now that I'm saying it out loud, yes.
412
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,928
Then, honey, you are parents.
413
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,306
All the Pupa does is watch you dumbasses
414
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,059
run around sci-fi-ing shit
with no consequences.
415
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,894
You are the bad influences.
416
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,896
He doesn't have to change.
417
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,522
You do.
418
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,151
Fuck that! It's not us.
Let's go kill Todd Phillips.
419
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,152
- (JESSE CHEERS)
- Let's get him!
420
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,200
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
421
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,535
We have to fix the ship.
We're out of Doritos.
422
00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,578
Fuck you, Terry.
423
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:04,583
Guys, that supreme steam monster
sounds exactly like us.
424
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:05,793
Holy shit.
425
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,878
Were we the Todd Phillips all along?
426
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:10,506
MONSTER: I want to trap someone
in a paperweight.
427
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,049
Jeez, we suck.
428
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:15,177
I can't believe it. But these two
shallow side characters were right.
429
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,265
Regular Hungry Hungry Hippos. Ew!
430
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:21,809
Come on. We have to play now.
431
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,976
- Really?
- Yes.
432
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:28,023
This is fucking boring.
433
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,274
It was better when
we turned them into...
434
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,026
Look! What's happening?
435
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,403
Pupa's reacting to us
being bland and normal.
436
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:35,781
- See?
- JESSE: Oh, yeah, I guess it's working.
437
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,117
From this moment forward,
we have to change our ways.
438
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,285
So, no more awesome sci-fi stuff?
439
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,871
No, I think we have to cut
everything from our lives
440
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,499
that makes us a special,
unique, weird family
441
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,876
and basically sand
our whole situation down
442
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,463
so it's palatable to a broader,
more corporate approved audience.
443
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,714
I mean, the Pupa.
444
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,508
I signed up for a Mommy and Me
music class
445
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,926
with the Pupa three days a week,
446
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:59,680
then we'll go get no-sugar-added,
lactose-free froyo with the other moms.
447
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,432
Oh, my lilies, he's firming up.
What else can we do?
448
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,601
We could go back to school
and actually give a shit.
449
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,186
JESSE: Keep goin', keep goin'.
450
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,479
Terry and I could get jobs.
451
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:11,066
Real ones. Not comedy writing
or firemen. Something in an office.
452
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,609
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- (SCREAMS)
453
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,069
And a computer and a printer,
454
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,072
a receptionist named Gail I keep trying
to bang, but she won't let me.
455
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,657
We can do this for the Pupa.
456
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:20,325
- For the Pupa!
- For the Pupa!
457
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,705
(MUSIC PLAYING)
458
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:33,338
You may find yourself
living in a shotgun shack
459
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:37,718
You may find yourself
in another part of the world
460
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:42,431
And you may find yourself
behind the wheel of a large automobile
461
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,726
You may find yourself
in a beautiful house
462
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,312
With a beautiful wife
463
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:53,692
And you may ask yourself
Well, how did I get here?
464
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:57,779
Letting the days go by
Let the water hold me down
465
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,783
Letting the days go by
Water flowing underground
466
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,577
Into the blue again...
467
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,625
I can't make heads or tails of these
mid-quarter distribution reports.
468
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,376
I think Jenkins ran the numbers wrong.
469
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:14,963
Well, he's Mr. Saurner's nephew,
so we'll just have to do it again.
470
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,217
Where have you guys been?
Dinner will be ready in ten.
471
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,385
We were at the library, again.
472
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:24,014
I have to write a 50-page paper
on the effects of beach erosion.
473
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,975
Can I please just borrow
the useless-homework ray once?
474
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,560
No, no rays in this house.
475
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,895
(PHONE RINGS)
476
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,272
Yeah. Hello, Mr. Saurner.
477
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:33,982
You want to come over tonight?
478
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,526
Tonight's not good, actually.
Korvo has the shits.
479
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,529
Okay. (GROANS) That was Mr. Saurner.
480
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,699
He invited himself and his wife over.
They want veal Parmesan.
481
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:46,036
But I'm making ginger-glazed salmon
with a cucumber dill salad.
482
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,080
Well, now you're making
veal fucking Parmesan
483
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,083
and you have half an hour to do it,
or we'll get fired from our work job.
484
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,919
(SIGHS) Are these really the stakes
of our lives now?
485
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,172
Remember when we saved humanity
from ice lava and Napadoodles
486
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,424
and fought over who had
more Christmas spirit?
487
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,803
I spent 14 minutes in heaven
with a jakey BTS.
488
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:03,804
Korvo turned into goo
489
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,139
and I had to fight
my ex-lover, Malcolm Gladwell.
490
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,599
Ah, those were the days.
491
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,559
We used to do so much
crazy sci-fi stuff.
492
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,187
I love you guys.
493
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,273
And I love Moana.
494
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,192
It's worth it, for the Pupa.
495
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,236
- For the Pupa.
- For the Pupa.
496
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,655
- Ah, fuck!
- Yeah, buddy.
497
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,656
God damn it!
498
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,491
Is Little Buddy
just gonna be, like,
499
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:26,285
around all the time now or something?
500
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,245
Yep. This is our life now.
501
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:32,624
Into the blue again
After the money's gone
502
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:36,962
Once in a lifetime
Water flowing underground
503
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:40,590
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
504
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:45,012
Same as it ever was
Look where my hand was
505
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,765
Time isn't holding up
Time isn't after us
506
00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:49,850
(SIGHS)
507
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:53,353
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
508
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,901
(PHONE RINGS IN BACKGROUND)
509
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,864
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)